To Relax or Not to Relax

     Recently I came across a Vogue article about the return of the relaxer. As a woman of color and a 12 year natural hair wearer, would I be torn if I said that I'm happy the style has returned? Yes. Especially, since my husband of 11 years has never seen my hair straightened in that fashion and I would love to show him the hairstyle of my teens. But does the risk outweigh the urge? NO. 

    Back in 2014, I joined the natural hair movement. The CROWN Act wasn't yet a proposition but there were women who wanted to fight the systemic system brought on by natural hairstyles. As a supporter of the United States military and the black women in it, I was appalled when I heard about the ristrictions on hair styles in the military. Myself a military school graduate, also had to undergo the rigorous structure that is the military and often I was ridiculed and laughed at about the texture of my hair. Back then, though it hurt, I never saw myself as a natural hair wearer and relaxed my bullies comments away. Going back to the straightened strands of my youth. 

    The rules that were instilled in me as a military cadet encouraged me to join the natural hair movement.  I looked to fame for inspiration and courage, Diana Ross, Alicia Keys, and Zoe Kravitz; and since, I have worn all of their hairstyles. Something that I would never have been able to do if I had joined the military and even though I participated in the civilian sector I received blacklash. I was called messy and tangled. So I took to the internet for motivation to keep me on my path. 

    There I found thousands of Instagrams, YouTubes, and articles promoting the natural hair movement and hair care routines. I finally felt welcome in a world that laughed at my curls. With my nose in my phone and my eye on the prize, I learned about the CROWN Act, the military restrictions, and Oprah's hair care routine. I found a company, a start up at the time, TGIN in a Craigslist ad and applied. They are a natural hair care phenomenon and I am very proud to have worked with them during my transition phase. My hair became healthy and polished but I wanted to know, how do women with low incomes care for their natural hair. 

    Most cut it short and gel it. So after working with TGIN, that is what I did. I slicked my hair back into a bun and called it a day. Most days that is my go to hair style but lately I have wanted to go back to my hair modeling days and try to style this monstrosity. That is why I was happy to hear that the relaxer is making a return, which means that the CROWN Act was passed, right, NOPE. So now I am at an end pass, to style my hair the natural way or with chemicals.

    After everything that I have learned about my hair, my government, my friends, family, work and husband; if I were to straighten it now I would lose my foothold in the battle for black natural hair styles. My coils are beautiful, brushed, curly, wet, or dry and the longer I wear it this way maybe I will teach other young black women that natural hair is beautiful, not that relaxed hair isn't. We are all different and all deserve to wear our hair the way we please without restrictions, without being called "matted and unkempt" (Owens, Erika , "U.S. Army Updates Grooming Standards", www.beautycon.com, 2014).